What We Always Were
by Dark Waffle
Summary: It was never simple, nor easy. But, it was them. It's who they always were.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey all! I'm pounding away at the next chapter of LAWKI currently but I recently had some inspiration at writing a one shot. I was watching Friend's With Benefits, and my brain started spinning with ideas of this one shot. This is a definitely a more mature story than what I've written in terms of explicit content. I am abiding by the rules and guidelines of Fanfiction restrictions when it comes to MA writing. Though, this is not overly explicit.**

 **This will be a 2-3 chaptered short story which is basically already written. I just have to polish it up a bit. I hope you guys enjoy this story! Because I had fun writing it!**

 ** _What We Always Were_**

Her head was pounding.

The world felt groggy around her and there was an ache in the middle of her forehead that just _refused_ to go away. Her mouth was dry, and she could barely keep her eyes open. Every time she attempted to flutter an eye open, the sun stung her and she shut them closed instantly.

Instant regret when she tried to shift in her bed. The ache in her head somehow moved with her and was now attacked the back part of her brain.

Kurata Sana decided she hated alcohol.

Alcohol and her best friend/roommate Matsui Fuka.

If it wasn't for her persistence, she wouldn't have been pressured into drinking as much as she did.

Nausea overwhelmed her and she groaned.

 _Damn that, Fuka._

Attempting to haul herself up again, Sana poorly pushed herself from the bed, allowing the bed sheets to pool at her waist.

Her eyes went wide as her body immediately chilled. She wrapped her arms around herself as her exposed skin jumped at the cool air in the room. Grabbing the sheets, she covered herself instantly and sighed at the warmness of her sheets.

It wasn't until the sheets brushed against her bare skin that Sana realized she was naked at her torso. Lifting the sheet carefully, she peered down at the rest of the body and felt her cheeks burn up as she wrapped the sheets around her again.

She was completely naked.

 _Why am I naked?_

Swallowing the massive headache that continued to pummel at her head, she slipped off the bed with the sheets wrapped securely around her. When her bare feet touched the ground, she shivered instantly.

Taking a deep breath, Sana stood up, though somewhat shakily, and made her way to her dresser. Clothes from the night before were scattered on the floor. Her drunken state must have peeled off all her articles of clothing.

Though, when Sana tried to walk, she noticed an unmistakable ache in between her legs that she has only ever experienced once or twice in her life.

But not like this.

She furrowed her brow as her legs almost gave out on her.

They were so incredibly sore. And her hips almost felt... _painful_?

Her back was also sore, feeling it up to her shoulders as she stretched.

 _What the hell did I do to myself?_

Did she stumble and fall when she was stripping herself of her clothes? Nothing outside of the clothes on the floor looked touched. Save for the pillows on the floor and... Her eyes went wide.

Her _broken_ lamp.

She mulled and grieved for a moment.

And she really liked that lamp too...

Sana held the sheets closely to her body as she rummaged through her dresser and found clothing to cover herself.

She allowed for the sheets to pool at her feet for a moment before putting her clothes on. As she slipped on her underwear, she noticed decolorization of her skin at the contours of both her hips. She pressed against the indentation of her hip and winced at the ache.

 _What the hell?_

Her shorts followed, and she threw an old t shirt over her head that was one size too big for her. She didn't need the bra anyway.

Taking slow and deep breathes, Sana walked towards the door of her bedroom and nearly made it until a wave of nausea overwhelmed her. Reaching out for the door, she screwed her eyes shut and rested her forehead against the coolness of her bedroom door. She inhaled, exhaled slowly.

That was when she heard the cluttering of dishes and running of water from the kitchen.

Fuka was home?

She could have sworn that Fuka was going home with Takaishi last night...?

Sana opened her door and with soft footsteps, made her way to the kitchen.

A small groan left her lips as she walked with longer strides.

"You know, I feel like crap and I put all the blame on you." Sana started, grabbing at the corner of her head. "I think you owe me breakfast, considering you convinced me to go out with you."

"And a new lamp. Because I broke mine." She sat on the bar stool at the island that separated their kitchen from the dining room. "Which again, is your fault."

When she was met with silence, Sana grew annoyed and opened her eyes to yell at her roommate.

But when she was met with dark golden-brown eyes, her heart stopped.

"Akito?" She whispered hoarsely, trying to comprehend why her best friend was standing in her apartment... _shirtless to say the least._

Her cheeks went red at the fine definition of his chest that karate had definitely helped built. She tore her eyes away from his torso and found his eyes once again.

"Wha-what are you doing in my apartment!?" She pointed accursedly, her eyes growing at every moment. "And why are you shirtless, you perverted cheetah!"

He rose a brow and looked at her in question. "You don't remember?"

Sana furrowed her brows and looked at him suspiciously, her eyes scrunching towards his questioning tone. Out of the corner of her left eye, she could see the scar line over his bicep region. Her stomach churned at the memory of his stabbing and the events that followed after including him moving away from her and to America.

Fuka may have been her best girl friend.

But Hayama Akito was her _best friend_. He was her anchor.

"Remember what?"

But before she could answer, another wave of nausea hit her like a tidal wave and she nearly fell forward.

"Oh, I hate her so much." She mumbled under her breath as she rested her forehead against the coolness of the tile.

"Here. Drink this." Turning her head, she rested her cheek against the tile and watched as Hayama placed a mug of _something_ in front of her followed with two pills. "This will help with your hangover."

 _Bless this man._

She lifted her head off the tile and popped both pills into her mouth. She grabbed the mug and made a disgruntled snort at the smell.

"Don't be a baby about it. Just drink it." She pouted at him and she half expected a smirk as a response.

So, when his eyes remained stoic, she was slightly confused.

"You're trying to kill me, that's it." She bit at him, and he proceeded to roll his eyes.

"Maybe if you hadn't drunk so much last night, you wouldn't need that."

There was a hint of a smirk and Sana did a victory dance in her head.

Though, she didn't appreciate his condescending remark.

"Like I said, I blame Fuka."

"You can't blame her for something you willingly decided to indulge in."

His voice was playful, and the smirk was growing slightly larger. Her heart began to race slightly at the possibility of seeing him _smile_.

"You always have to be right."

His smirk grew even bigger.

 _Cocky bastard._

Her eyes travelled down the length of his neck ad that's when Sana noticed a small mark at the junction of where his neck and shoulder meet.

Almost like a... _bite mark_.

Actually, now that she took a better look, there were _multiple_ marks across his collarbone lines and chest. She set the mug down and narrowed her eyes at him. He must have noticed her staring at him and his marks because his hand now rubbed at his shoulder, covering the mark on his neck.

There was a slight redness forming at his cheeks and he tore his eyes away from hers.

"Who did that to you?" She pointed and asked, her chest feeling tight. There was a gnawing at her stomach and an ugly jealousy that rose to her throat.

Did she mention that she was in love with her best friend?

So, the thought of him being intimate with someone else...

 _No._

She didn't want to think about it.

He refused to meet her gaze for a moment and she frowned. Forgetting the drink and pills, she marched up to him and took a better look at the love bites on his body.

"What's got you all tied up? That's not like you." She pressed on and her heart began to pound loudly in her chest as she stood only a few feet away. Having him this close made her dizzy.

Hayama finally looked back at her and her eyes went wide once more. When they first met, he was a jerk and boss monkey. He purposely hurt people because of all the pain he endured as a child. His eyes were filled with venomous rage and were so sharp they could cut someone.

After she confronted his family on their horrendous behavior, things seem to brighten for the lone wolf that was once her sworn enemy.

And out of that animosity bloomed a friendship that Sana considered so incredibly important even till now at 22 years old.

The way he looked at her, Sana couldn't describe the longing in his eyes. And the cloud that surrounded his eyes had her concerned.

"… You really don't remember?"

His voice was soft and sullen like almost. Sana's frown etched into concern as he continued to stare at her.

Sana dropped her head and closed her eyes, trying to recall the events to last night. She remembered a majority of the night starting from Fuka dragging her out to a new club that opened in town in celebration of passing her first-year marks exams for law school. It ended up being a whole gang event as Tsuyoshi, Aya, Hisea, Mami, and Fuka's boyfriend Yuta Takaishi joined them at the club. Knowing full well that Fuka was going drag her there regardless, she begged Hayama to accompany them.

At 22 years old, they had all matured and were growing into themselves as adults. She didn't get to see her friends to often with how busy she was with working. Her status as an actress has increased and she was needing an increase in security around her more often.

Luckily this place they went to last night was tight lipped. Fuka was good friends with the owner of the club. So, Sana didn't have to worry about paparazzi and loose lips.

She knew she had one too many drinks, obviously from the pounding headache that rendered her useless.

But what else?

Hayama arrived after them. He was dressed in a button-down shirt that hung to the musculature of his body very well. His hair that had grown so long since high school was tied up into a man bun. At first, she was highly against this fashion choice. She couldn't imagine the stoic, lone wolf with such a modern trend.

Until he showed up to lunch one afternoon wearing the bun. There was a smirk plastered on his face as he strode to the table, full well knowing that she was going to throw a gasket.

But instead, her cheeks went hot and she bit down on her lip as she stared at how _well_ he wore that man bun.

Sana found him instantly when he walked in and dragged him with her to the bar.

 _"How many drinks have you had, already?"_

 _Sana pursed her lips, and then giggled as she leaned over the rail of the bar. Her cheeks were pink, indicating her intoxication. She wasn't drunk. But she definitely wasn't sober._

 _Seeing Hayama made her stomach tingle. There was a humoring smirk on his lips and he signaled for the bartender._

 _"Not enough."_

 _He rose a brow. "That technically indicates you've had enough."_

 _She waved her hand in front of him, a bright grin stretched out on her lips. "Drink with me!"_

 _And she shoved a bottle in his face, his favorite beer. He smirked and grabbed onto the drink, his fingers brushing lightly over hers. Her heart stopped for a moment as they looked at one another._

 _"Thanks."_

 _She grabbed her drink from the bartender and started making her way back towards the dance floor. But not before their free hands found one another. Their fingers entwined, and despite the hammering in her chest, she was feeling so bold._

 _She pulled him to the dance floor and he followed intently, coming behind her. Their bodies were so close she could feel his heat radiating onto her. It could have been the alcohol but her head was spinning. Especially when Hayama came closer to her from behind._

 _"About time you showed up, Aki!"_

 _Fuka called out and all their friends were grinning and waving as the two made their way over, hands still joined. Her best friend's eyes went to the interlocking of their hands._

 _She wriggled her eyebrows at them, causing Sana to blush._

 _"I was busy."_

 _And by busy, he meant completing his tasks from his internship._

 _"Clearly not too busy for certain people." Her eyes found their interlocked fingers again and she smirked. Both Hayama and Sana blushed, and hoped none of their friends were paying attention to the conversation._

 _"I'm going to go dance! You're annoying!" She turned, and nearly toppled Akito over. He caught her, muttering a quick "be careful" beofre pulling her back. She pounded back her drink and placed it on the empty table next to her._

 _"Come dance with me!" She more or less demanded, but Hayama made no objections as he followed her to the dance floor._

Sana bit down on her lip, trying to suppress the embarrassing groan. She was really awful when she was drunk.

The memory started to fade a bit as she recalled them dancing with one another. The back of her neck was burning as she remembered how close the two danced. Sana remembered throwing her hands around his neck, hiding her face into the junction of where his neck met his shoulder. Their bodies so closely meshed together as his hands landed on her hip and swayed with her body.

God, if she didn't make it obvious she much she liked him last night.

The dancing was followed with more drinks and the night began to get hazy. Her mind was drawing a blank. There was scattered images in her mind that didn't make complete sense.

He was still staring at her with intense eyes that made her shiver. She felt it. Felt his gaze deep inside her. It made her throb in places that shouldn't have. Made her long for him in places that she shouldn't have.

"Who gave you those?" She asked again, wanting to know who maimed him, _claimed him_.

 _Because she loved him, and if she was too late, she would never forgive herself for not saying something earlier._

He swallowed hard, the Adam's apple in his throat bobbing up and down. His jaw line went hard and his eyes fixed on hers. She nearly lost her breath with the intensity of his gaze. It made her ache for him in ways that was unimaginable.

"You did."

Her eyes nearly left her head as they caught onto the purple marks on his neck, collarbone, and chest. She brought her hand up to her mouth, heart dropping into her stomach as she found it difficult to breathe.

Her nausea suddenly became much more prevalent followed by the constriction of her chest.

 _She did that?_

Her face went pale, searching adamantly through her memories, finding _what_ propelled her to do such a thing to him, to her best friend.

 _What did she do? Why couldn't she remember!?_

They danced and drank and were being stupidly careless with one another. He stopped drinking at some point, advised her to slow down. He stopped allowing her to drink, she called him a buzz kill.

Her world was spinning and Hayama took her outside for air. It was cold, but he was holding her close. She was grinning stupidly at him and he smiled back at her while shaking his head.

His smile always made her stomach churn and her heart explode.

She remembered she really wanted to kiss him in that moment.

He offered to take her home... if she remembered correctly. They went back inside and said goodbye to her friends, Fuka told her she would see her later because she was going to Yuta's.

They took a taxi home and Akito helped her upstairs... she thinks? She couldn't remember! Sana continued staring at him in disbelief and she kept trying to piece everything together.

But she just couldn't.

The longer she stared at Akito's neck, the more daunting it became to her.

And suddenly, _it hit her._

 _Hands tangled in his hair as her lips latched onto his neck with hearty kisses. His hands gripped her tightly at the contours of her hips, then moving up her torso to her bare shoulders._

 _Lips found one another in such needy and frustrating ways. His rough hands palmed her, and she moaned into his mouth. He darted his tongue and continued his ministrations to her breast._

 _She grinded down against his hips, trying to relieve the friction between her legs. He met her thrusts under her and growled._

 _Clothes sprayed on the floor and they found themselves tangled in one another._

 _She gasped when he filled her, her nails scratching down his back with his rhythm._

 _He groaned in her ear as she locked her legs around his waist and matched his pace._

Sana gasped, and stepped away from him. Her eyes grew so wide and her breathing became shaky.

His eyes hardened and he swallowed once again. He refused to leave her eyes and she felt like she would crumble right there and then.

 _She slept with Hayama Akito._

 **So! What do you all think? This story follows canon events of the manga and is pretty much a spin-off of where the manga save for some changes to the story. However, there is one exception.**

 **Sana and Akito are** ** _not_** **together.**

 **In all the events from** ** _after_** **Akito getting stabbed, Sana and Akito remained friends throughout high school because our loveable idiots are still too dense and scared to get together. Events that did** ** _not_** **occur include Akito and Sana arguing about liking one another, Akito sending off Komori and Akito and Sana getting together at the train station. Akito** ** _did_** **go to America to get his arm fixed and Sana fell into a** ** _milder_** **depressive state. Sana and Fuka combined** ** _did_** **open the radio show, but all the events of Sana's depression including the becoming adult plan, running away to Dreamland, etc did** ** _not_** **occur.**

 **I will not say much else about the story other than what I've described above. I felt like that information stated above was necessary to understand kind of what's going on!**

 **Next update should come within the next couple days!** ** _Life As We Know It_** **is about 40% done right now. It should be updated by the end of the month!**

 **Thanks again!**

 **Dark Waffle**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi all. It's been a minute. I kind of lost motivation for this story last year when i wrote it. I actually kind of forgot about it. But the other day, I was cleaning out my computer and I found it again. I opened it up and just started typing away. Some type of newfound inspiration I guess. What's interesting is that the original chapter 2 was totally scraped and I rewrote it because I didn't like it. And the next chapter was already written before this one. It's basically one huge mess.**

 **Any who, i hope you guys enjoy it!**

 _ **What We Always Were**_

 _She slept with her best friend._

Before she could say anything, the nausea from earlier hit her like a freight train.

Feeling the vomit crawling up her throat, pushed passed him and found the trash can of her kitchen. She hurled the contents of her stomach into the trash can. Her hair was falling over her face, shielding her away from Akito.

She could smell the alcohol, and this caused her to throw up once more.

 _God, what did she do?_

She gripped the sides of her trash can tightly, her knuckles growing white. Both the back of her neck and her cheeks grew increasingly hot and her heart was racing. She couldn't bear to turn and look at him, knowing that she _slept_ with him.

Sana felt a hand to her back, another hand grabbing her hair back to avoid it catching the contents in her stomach. His hand felt heavy on her back. It caused her stomach to further churn as the heat from his body radiated to her.

He remained silent as she hurled the contents of her stomach.

When she finished throwing up

When she was finished, she slumped against the floor and leaned next to the trash can. Her head was spinning, heart pounding so loud in her ears. His warm hand left her body and she heard his footsteps patter across the floor and back. The blond offered her a towel to clean her mouth.

She muttered a very quick "thank you" as she cleaned up her mouth.

"You should drink that tea." He said quietly. He was looking at her with eyes that were transparent and completely honest. Eyes that showed her truth. His truth.

Her eyes went to the floor immediately. Sana couldn't even look at him.

She felt disgusting. She was repulsed with herself. How could she do that? How could she _sleep with her best friend?!_

He must hate her. He has too.

The auburn-haired girl didn't reply as she saw on the cold floor, staring at her own hands. Her heart was beating so fast she felt like it would leave her chest at any moment.

"Sana?" His voice was low, and she flinched at the sound of her name.

"I'm sorry." She blurted out, slowly making eye contact with him. He was looking at her in concern; those expressions he only reserves for her and her alone.

"Sorry for what?" He asked, like he didn't already know. Why was he acting like he didn't know? Wasn't he disgusted with her? For taking advantage of him the way she did?

Sana bit her lip with tears accumulating at her eyes. The auburn-haired girl looked up at him fully, her hands clenched pale white.

"For what… for what happened last night."

Sana couldn't make out his reaction. While he had become more transparent to her, it didn't mean the lone wolf didn't know how to mask his emotions like he did once. She stood up shakily, not wanting to stay on the floor anymore. Her stomach was still churning, and she winced again from the soreness of her lower body.

"I-I was acting rashly and didn't think about you or what you wanted. I shouldn't have put you in that position nor forced you to do that. Last night was a mistake and I've basically just ruined our friendship." She continued to ramble, his silence making her uncomfortable.

His expression changed the moment those words left her mouth. A visible frown was etched on his face and she could see his chest get bigger as he sucked in a large breath.

"You didn't force me to do anything." His tone was on the borderline between irritated and annoyed. She could see his frustration and she wasn't sure why. He should be furious, shouldn't he?

"I'm sorry last night was a mistake."

She didn't know why, but that felt like a sucker punch to the gut.

The air was tense around them and Sana felt like she would suffocate. She was infuriated with herself. How did she screw this up so terribly?! How did she allow herself to let this happen?!

"I should leave." There was something in his tone of voice that made Sana's stomach drop. He didn't just sound upset. He sounded almost disheartened. And even though his eyes didn't show it, Sana could hear it in his voice.

She had a feeling if she didn't stop him from leaving, _everything would change._

Akito ran a hand through his hair and turned around, heading back to her room.

He didn't make it very far though because Sana moved faster than he did and reached for his hand. He froze instantly as she grasped it in her hand tightly. The auburn-haired girl could feel the need to vomit creep up and her head was spinning. She almost stumbled over, but she was _not_ going to release his hand.

His eyes were wide as he stared at her.

"Don't." She whispered, her eyes begging. "Don't leave."

"I-" The words _I love you_ fell on her lips.

"It was a mistake because I forced myself on you. I was drunk and took advantage of the situation." She decided to say, her hand tightening around his.

With his free hand, he palmed his face and sighed roughly. "No, you didn't. You didn't take advantage of me. You didn't _force_ me yourself on me."

"If anything, I was the one who took advantage of _you._ "

Sana was thrown aback by his comment. Confusion crossed her face.

What? He thought _he took advantage?_

"I knew you were drunk. I knew that you weren't all there. And I still let last night happen." He pulled his hand away from her and ran his hands through his hair, a look of distress overcoming his face.

He… was blaming himself?

She shook her head and reached forward for him, her hands pulled his hands away from his head. He looked at her with regretful eyes and stepped back slightly.

This stupid, stupid boy. This stupid boy she was so foolishly in love with. He always, always took blame for situations that he had no business taking blame for.

Her hands found each side of his face. "You listen here Hayama Akito. Don't you _dare_ put that idea in your head. Don't you dare blame yourself for last night. That was all on me. I take fault for it all. I was the one who seduced you. Not the other way around."

"So _please_ , don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. It was all mine." And she meant that. She didn't want him to think that he forced this on her. Because he didn't.

No longer did his eyes look regretful.

"That's the thing, Sana." His voice lowered to a whisper and she felt weak to her knees. He leaned down to her, face merely inches away from hers. One hand went to her cheek and the other rested on the barstool near them.

She took a sharp breath.

"I don't think it was your fault…" He leaned even closer; lips inches from hers. She couldn't help but look down at them. "Because I wanted it just as bad as you did."

She couldn't breathe.

"I wanted you just as bad as you wanted me." He whispered, his eyes looking down to her lips. She could feel the hotness of his breathing. It was suffocating her. She was aching for him. There was a strong pulsation in her abdomen and she instinctively rubbed her thighs together as she ached for him.

"You did?" She whispered back, trying to hide the aching in her voice.

Both his hands found the contours of her hips and pulled her closer. Sana's hands fell to his shoulders, down in front of his chest. His skin was so hot it made her gulp.

"I was afraid that when you woke up this morning, you would feel disgusted. You would feel regret. I was worried that everything you said last night, you were going to say it was all a mistake."

Sana's eyes went wide.

He was just as worried as she was. Feeling the same thoughts and same emotions. She was such an idiot. Sana was still as dense as she was back then.

But that begged the question… where did that leave them?

"But I didn't… I didn't at all." She reassured, and he sighed. Sighed in relief.

They just looked at one another, eyes locked, her hands on the front of his chest and his hands at her hips. Close but not close enough. Her heart was in her throat and she could hardly breathe being next to him. His golden-brown eyes were staring right through her, waiting for her.

"Where does that leave us, then?" He asked and she truly didn't know.

He meant so much more to her than just your average fuck buddy. She loved him. She didn't want to just use him for whenever she wanted sex. She wanted him because she loved him.

Unless… that's what he saw her as?

Just as someone he could have sex with whenever he was feeling horny or perverted. The thought broke her heart. Surely if he wanted that, he could have just found that with someone else?

Sana wasn't sure how to reply. She couldn't remember _enough_ of last night to remember what she had all said.

Instead, she decided to take a page out of his book.

Sana closed the gap between the two and kissed him. She closed her eyes and sighed immediately as he kissed her back, his arms circling around her, bringing her close to him. Her hands traveled up his chest to his neck and wrapped themselves around him. She brought him down to her and he deepened the kiss.

Sana was seeing stars. She couldn't breathe. He was consuming her alive. The young actress refused to believe that she was just another body he could use to relieve himself. She refused to believe that someone who kissed her like this didn't hold any feelings for her. Sana refused to believe that someone who looked at her the way he did only wanted to use her.

They both pulled away, gasping, suffocating, air hungry. Foreheads locked, both we panting as they closed their eyes to regain some sense.

As they stood in the middle of her kitchen, panting heavily and leaning against one another, it hit her.

Memories from last night triggered through their passionate kiss.

 _She didn't know if it was the alcohol or him that was making her so bold, but she was reaching for the collar of his shirt and wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. She could see his jaw harden and the sharp intake of a breath._

 _His hands were at her hips, their bodies inches apart. That was no good. She wanted them closer._

 _"Akito… I really, **really** want to kiss you right now." She whispered drunklike in his ear and she could feel the tight squeeze on her hips._

 _"You're drunk." He replied, their lips only a few inches apart. She could see his want in his eyes, the resilience to not take her._

 _"Not drunk enough to know that I want you. That I love you." Sana watched his eyes widened and the hold on her hips lightened slightly. His mouth opened slightly._

 _She had been holding that in for so long that it was almost relieving to say it out loud. She loved him. She loved him so much. Having to keep these feelings in was agonizing. So many times, did Sana just want to shout at her idiot best friend how much she cared for him._

 _But she held herself back._

 _And she resorted to locking away her feelings and longing for him from a distance. When he left for America, it was slightly easier to deal with her feelings. Sana was able to focus on acting and her jobs. But, the moment he returned, a rush of emotions filled her, and that yearning was so overwhelming it made her cry._

 _She didn't know why tonight was the night, but she felt so confident and so bold. There was something in her that was just screaming to tell him, to confess._

 _It was only a few seconds before he attacked her lips and pulled her close to him. Sana was almost thrown back by the sheer force, but she moaned into his mouth as he consumed her. Her hands found his hair and his hands moved up and down her back, eventually resting on her ass._

 _"You know how long I have waited to hear that from you?" He whispered in her neck as he latched on. Her hands were making quick work of his button-down shirt and the blond was peeling off her dress over her head and they continued to remove articles of clothing as they made their way to her bed._

 _He threw her to the bed and overpowered her with a mind-blowing kiss. His tongue found hers and she felt like she couldn't breathe._

 _How much time had passed? She wasn't sure. All she knew was that she wanted him. She wanted him so bad that it physically hurt._

Sana's eyes opened and she pushed herself away from him.

He appeared confused by her sudden actions. She backed away from her, her hand back at her mouth, her heart ready to bounce out of her chest.

Was last night a dream? Was she just creating this illusion of what she _wanted_ to hear? Was she trying to trick herself to believing that he loved her like she loved him? Sana's head was so screwed up that she didn't know what was real and what was fake.

The young actress didn't hear Hayama as she walked over to the granite countertop and leaned against the cool material. She was too busy trying to collect her thoughts and sort the truth. Sana wasn't sure if she was just making everything up at this point.

And she was too afraid to ask him.

Suddenly, a warm presence came behind her. She could feel his heat radiate behind her. His chest was like a furnace, filling her with this warmth that made her body ache. He towered her so easily. She could feel the side of his face next to hers and the hot breath next to her ear. His hand reached over and slowly covered hers.

"I don't know what's running through your mind right now." He whispered into her ear while his thumb soothed her hand. She shivered in response. "But I want too. I want to know how I can help, what I can do. Because I don't know what to do."

She stayed silent, putting the broken fragments of her memory together. Real or not real? Did she really say what she did? And if she did, was his response honest?

"Last night… last night was real, right?" She slowly turned around to find him staring at her with those beautiful golden-brown eyes. Eyes that spoke so much to only _her_.

Her body wasn't turned fully, her head only really looking at him.

Hayama nodded. "And everything we said to one another… was that all real?"

Without realizing herself, Sana's body found itself drawn back to him. Her hands were resting on his chest, shaking as she dug her fingers into his bare chest. Her breathing increased and she felt her stomach in her throat.

Hayama's hand came up to her neck and palmed the back of it. His thumb was resting on her jaw and she closed her eyes as he thumbed her so carefully. She released a shaky sigh.

He moved her head towards him until their foreheads were touching. His lips were so close to hers again, their noses almost touching. She opened her eyes slightly and looked at him again.

"It was real." He whispered slowly, every word vibrating on her lips. "And I meant every word."

The tension thickened and slowly felt like she couldn't breathe.

They simply stared at one another, their eyes speaking the words they couldn't speak to one another.

"Sana." He whispered against her.

"Yes?" She asked, shakily.

"I don't want to pretend that last night didn't happen." He leaned closer, if that was even possible.

"I don't want too, either."

"And I don't want to go back to how we were." His lips were right over hers, eyes barely open as they looked at her. Her hands traveled up his chest to around his chest. His free had circled around her hips and meshed her body with his. The other still palming the back of her neck, holding her in place.

"Me either."

Not another word was said as Hayama closed whatever gap was left between them and kissed her.

 **A/N: Bum, bum, BUM. Just kidding. But obviously not. I promise I won't leave you waiting another year again. The next chapter should be out fairly soon. It's been written for over a year. Also, I know I said it wasn't overly explicit... yeah I kind of lied. It is actually kind of explicit so I'm wondering if I should just write a censored version of it or just take it out completely. What do you all think?**

 **For those of you who are patiently waiting for the next chapter of Life As You Know It, I am happy to report that it is 90% complete. Nursing school has not really made it easy to get anything other than my school work done. But, I happen to have a week break coming up here shortly so my goal is to get the next chapter out sometime mid October... lets cross our fingers for that!**

 **Anyway, until next time!**

 **\- Dark Waffle**


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